Monday, November 9, 2009

Terminator 2 will put hair on your balls.

People often come to me with their personal problems. Most of the time I just tell people to "blow me" or "fuck off." But once in a full moon I listen. One such occasion someone asked me "Sam you are a man's man. I am weak and suffer from impotence. How did you become so masculine?" Do you know what I did when he asked this question? I laughed in his Goddamn face. I whipped out my dvd copy of Terminator 2: Judgement Day and told him to pop this shit in. But I warned him. It will make your DVD player explode in pure awesomeness***. NASA's top scientists have proven that even if you start watching T2 with a Bald Eagle down in your crotch region by the time JAMES CAMERON's name pops up in the end credits you're going to have a fucking fullblown rain forest down there. A week later this young man came back to return my copy of Terminator 2: Judgement Day and thanked me. This young man's name was Jonah Falcon. Google it.

Until next time

***I have multiple DVD players.

1 comment:

  1. do you have to be like 18 or licenced as awesome enough to rent or buy this movie?