Monday, November 9, 2009

Caffeine and Success

Hell yeah, Motherfucker

Fuck money, caffeine is what runs this world. Liquid gold, this shit turns regular motherfuckers into GODLY motherfuckers. You do everything HARDER and FASTER. HARDER and FASTER. Caffeine sharpens your senses so you can cut bitches in half just by hearing them.

There are naysayers who say "don't take too much caffeine, you'll get sick and die!":

The symptoms of caffeine intoxication are not unlike overdoses of other stimulants. It may include restlessness, nervousness, excitement, insomnia, flushing of the face, increased urination, gastrointestinal disturbance, muscle twitching, a rambling flow of thought and speech, irritability, irregular or rapid heart beat, and psychomotor agitation.

-Yeah, if you're a pussy.

In cases of much larger overdoses, mania, depression, lapses in judgment, disorientation, disinhibition, delusions, hallucinations, and psychosis may occur, and rhabdomyolysis (breakdown of skeletal muscle tissue) can be provoked.

-In essence, time slows the fuck down for you, so you can shit on the fabric of time and space.

You can complete tasks in half the time!

"But why would I want to do that?"

Because fuck you, that's why.


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