Saturday, February 27, 2010

Project Awesome

Not that anyone reads this blog, but today I've decided to start seriously working out again. I haven't seriously worked out in about a year and a half, and so my fitness has dramatically decreased. Eating is definitely more enjoyable than moving around. But I thought I'd give it another shot and post the gains that I will see along the way.

Day 1: Today I bought a Nitric Oxide supplement, BSN's N.O. Xplode. Supposedly, nitric oxide is a vasodilator, meaning that it relaxes blood vessels so that more blood (and the nutrients with it) travel to the muscles faster. In short, you get stronger pumps and recover faster. I've been apprehensive to try N.O. in the past, but I thought "what the hell" and gave it a shot. N.O. Xplode contains nitric oxide, along with a negligible amount of creatine and a decent amount of caffeine. After taking two scoops, I definitely noticed that I had a little bit more energy. I may need a couple of days to feel the "energy and focus" that it claims to give.

It is pretty expensive ($35-$65 depending on where you buy it). I bought the lemonade flavor, and it's not the best tasting stuff in the world, but I've tasted much worse. It comes in powder form, and it reacts with water to create some carbonation somehow.

It is quite important that if you do decide to take this supplement, that you follow the directions on the label. I consumed two scoops right after dinner, and had massive diarrhea within 30 minutes. Apparently I was supposed to take it on an empty stomach. I should also note that there is about 100 mg of caffeine per scoop, which is making me piss every 10 minutes.

There are notable side effects to N.O. Xplode. As cited by some users: minor to severe headaches, diarrhea, sleeplessness (if you are caffeine sensitive), loss of sex drive/ erectile dysfunction, increased tension, among other symptoms. It should be noted that this only happens to some users, while other users experience no side effects. Long term effects of consuming nitric oxide is not clear, so I will probably stick to protein and creatine as far as supplements go. Nitric oxide is naturally produced in the body, and gives that post workout "swoleness" that people experience.

I will continue to write about my experiences in using this product, and post regularly concerning my workout gains.

Commencing: Project Awesome


Friday, February 26, 2010

Who the Fuck Wants an iPad?

Facebook is was an excellent portal to keep updated amongst your friends and fertilize their farms. With each new layout, it seems that Facebook Inc. attempts to achieve the highest levels of fuckery with each layout update. 

It's obvious what the main issue with the newest layout is: it tells you EVERYTHING
From shit you kind of care about to shit you don't give a shit about, the new layout keeps you up to date with every action your friends take on Facebook, in case you wanted to learn about them in order to kill them and live out their lives.

Specifically, it's the groups friends join. It is not uncommon for a user to be notified that "Bettie Blowjobs joined "I love slurping on the spam along with 23509235 other profiles." Who the fuck actually joins these groups for a purpose? I'll tell you who:

An occurring trend (but not the first of its nature) on Facebook is the tendency for users to join "Be the first 50,000 fans of this group and test and KEEP an iPad for FREE!!!!!!!!!!" You see, the internet dumbs down its users to levels that would be dangerous in the real world. Observe the "first 50,000 fans" portion. Even when the groups are over the 50,000 mark, people join these groups in blind stupidity. Why? Fuck me, I don't know. Who exactly is sponsoring this deal? It's definitely not Apple, they're not looking for testers. And even if they were, why would they recruit on Facebook? There are plenty of Mac-Panthers to fill the need. 
But there is one giant glaring fact: IT'S 50 FUCKING THOUSAND IPADS. You know these things retail around $500 right? Starting. Who in the hell has $25 million to blow out their ass? Because I need to sell them my goods.

Also, check out Geekologie. They have some great stuff up there. Here are some recent highlights:

Lego Nipples (NSFW) This is pretty self explanatory.
Robot Information Graphical A neat graphic with all pertinent robot info.
Chest Yams Just check it out, you will be better for it.


Oh Hi Bro Patrol

Like a phoenix from the ashes Bro Patrol will rise again!


Sunday, February 21, 2010

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Sorry to our handful of listeners

I've been busy lately with work, school, girlfriend and my novel, so I haven't had the time to post reccently. I've got a comic ready, I just need to reinstall the scanner software.


Thursday, February 4, 2010

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


BroPatrol would like to give the "Baddest Brotha" commendation to Black Dynamite, who is the hardest motherfucker in the game. Anaconda malt liquor gives you "OoOoOoO!!!"

Out Now!


Tuesday, February 2, 2010

2/02/10 Part 2

Since we missed day one of Black History Month we're doubling up today! Today's bonus under looked Black person is rapper Chingy. This performer has created masterpieces in the music industry and has left it forever unchanged with works such as "Right Thurr" and "Holiday Inn." Thank you Chingy for changing the face and voice of music as we know it.

"Gimme what you got for a pork chop
She threw it at me like I was a short-stop"





In honor of Black History Month BroPatrol would like to feature Black people who don't get the attention like the Frederick Douglasses and Oprahs of the world.  Today's Feature is President Thomas Wilson, the Black president from the movie 2012. He's noble as fuck. He gave up his seat on the boat for a scientist. Luckly this scientist was a brotha though.

It's like having two Obamas


Fuckin' fix'd