tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36056436275826662202024-03-13T21:53:16.610-05:00BroPatrolJimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.comBlogger55125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-85262861112419284522010-05-31T23:30:00.000-05:002010-05-31T23:30:52.735-05:00............................. May 31, 2010It's been months since a post has been posted. Don't know what to say for ourselfs. Oops, I guess. <br />
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Sam and I have been working with frequent guest Daniel and Jew friend David on a book. An actual book on paper with words. Its going slowly but surely, once we've gotten more organized with it I'd like to get some teaser stuff up here for the few of you that care. Jimmy is in London and is from what I hear having a wonderful time. Life besides that is painfully normal. Just powered through Sex and the City at work, major disappointment if I may add. Its also dawning upon me that I'm moving in like two months. Its scary yet exciting. One major goal I have for when I'm in Austin (somewhat on my trip and definatly when I move) is to get better about writing regularly. I figure I'll have less distractions and more motivation. Hopefully this thing will be less negected as well. My main focus will have to go to writing that may give me monitary gain. I have several ideas for stories that've been bouncing around my head forever. Another project I've got lined up is a music video ( last time I did that I think I didnt have a drivers licence). Hopefully all of these things get done, if not at least one. Sorry to have disappointed those of you I've disappointed. Maybe I'll get something entertaining or hilarious up soon if ever. <br />
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***AIRHORN***<br />
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-Shaun-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-85649961807112466192010-03-16T03:31:00.003-05:002010-03-16T14:44:15.898-05:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_EsaxP-yi488/S59Bu1hcuwI/AAAAAAAAACI/Byf6qrGN2Z8/s1600-h/pokemonmonster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_EsaxP-yi488/S59Bu1hcuwI/AAAAAAAAACI/Byf6qrGN2Z8/s400/pokemonmonster.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 13px; text-transform: uppercase;">I wanna be the very best</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%; text-transform: uppercase;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%; text-transform: uppercase;"><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">Like no one ever was</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">To catch them is my real test</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">To train them is my cause</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">I will travel across the land</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">Searching far and wide</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">Teach Pokemon to understand</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">The power that's inside</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">Pokemon!</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">Gotta catch 'em all--</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">It's you and me</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">I know it's my destiny</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">Pokemon</div></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%; text-transform: uppercase;"><span class="apple-style-span"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 13px; text-transform: uppercase;"><br />
</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%; text-transform: uppercase;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%; text-transform: uppercase;"><div style="text-align: center;">Ooooh, you're my best friend</div></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%; text-transform: uppercase;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 13px; text-transform: uppercase;"><br />
</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%; text-transform: uppercase;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%; text-transform: uppercase;"><div style="text-align: center;">In a world we must defend</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">Pokemon!</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">Gotta catch 'em all--</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">Our hearts so true</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">Our courage will pull us through</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">You teach me and I'll teach you</div></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span class="apple-style-span"></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: center;">Pokemon!<br />
<br />
-Jim-</div></span></span></div>Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-38571902834181258392010-03-10T02:03:00.001-06:002010-03-10T02:03:24.008-06:00Day 12Had a good workout. I've started taking cold showers and what not, which feel like icy assholes, but feels good afterwards. Just checkin' in.<br />
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-Jim-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-58544378578932051922010-03-05T07:01:00.000-06:002010-03-05T07:01:57.967-06:00Every job had a first day!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_EsaxP-yi488/S5EAUN35NiI/AAAAAAAAACA/ku6Y3hrRnOY/s1600-h/001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="464" kt="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_EsaxP-yi488/S5EAUN35NiI/AAAAAAAAACA/ku6Y3hrRnOY/s640/001.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
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I ment to upload this like a month ago, inspired by a conversation Sam and I had while at his bank. Enjoy...<br />
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-Shaun-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-3068269613441549532010-03-01T20:18:00.000-06:002010-03-01T20:18:03.771-06:00Day 3Dear diary,<br />
I did some lifting after taking some NoX. I could definitely feel a difference in my workout. I could push out more reps with 10-15 lbs more than usual with less burn. Cardio was smoother than usual as well. Keep ya updated.<br />
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-Jim-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com45tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-89717078610334673662010-02-27T23:49:00.000-06:002010-02-27T23:49:18.728-06:00Project AwesomeNot that anyone reads this blog, but today I've decided to start seriously working out again. I haven't seriously worked out in about a year and a half, and so my fitness has dramatically decreased. Eating is definitely more enjoyable than moving around. But I thought I'd give it another shot and post the gains that I will see along the way.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_EsaxP-yi488/S4oD0DprMeI/AAAAAAAAAB4/dr3496e7WjI/s1600-h/noxplode.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_EsaxP-yi488/S4oD0DprMeI/AAAAAAAAAB4/dr3496e7WjI/s200/noxplode.jpg" width="150" /></a></div><br />
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Day 1: Today I bought a Nitric Oxide supplement, BSN's N.O. Xplode. Supposedly, nitric oxide is a vasodilator, meaning that it relaxes blood vessels so that more blood (and the nutrients with it) travel to the muscles faster. In short, you get stronger pumps and recover faster. I've been apprehensive to try N.O. in the past, but I thought "what the hell" and gave it a shot. N.O. Xplode contains nitric oxide, along with a negligible amount of creatine and a decent amount of caffeine. After taking two scoops, I definitely noticed that I had a little bit more energy. I may need a couple of days to feel the "energy and focus" that it claims to give.<br />
<br />
It is pretty expensive ($35-$65 depending on where you buy it). I bought the lemonade flavor, and it's not the best tasting stuff in the world, but I've tasted much worse. It comes in powder form, and it reacts with water to create some carbonation somehow.<br />
<br />
It is quite important that if you do decide to take this supplement, that you follow the directions on the label. I consumed two scoops right after dinner, and had massive diarrhea within 30 minutes. Apparently I was supposed to take it on an empty stomach. I should also note that there is about 100 mg of caffeine per scoop, which is making me piss every 10 minutes.<br />
<br />
There are notable side effects to N.O. Xplode. As cited by some users: minor to severe headaches, diarrhea, sleeplessness (if you are caffeine sensitive), loss of sex drive/ erectile dysfunction, increased tension, among other symptoms. It should be noted that this only happens to some users, while other users experience no side effects. Long term effects of consuming nitric oxide is not clear, so I will probably stick to protein and creatine as far as supplements go. Nitric oxide is naturally produced in the body, and gives that post workout "swoleness" that people experience.<br />
<br />
I will continue to write about my experiences in using this product, and post regularly concerning my workout gains.<br />
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Commencing: Project Awesome<br />
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-Jim-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-45377854109025866682010-02-26T02:40:00.001-06:002010-02-26T02:42:22.636-06:00Who the Fuck Wants an iPad?<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Facebook </span></span><s><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">is</span></span></s><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> was an excellent portal to keep updated amongst your friends and fertilize their farms. With each new layout, it seems that Facebook Inc. attempts to achieve the highest levels of fuckery with each layout update. </span></span></span><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">It's obvious what the main issue with the newest layout is: it tells you EVERYTHING</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">From shit you kind of care about to shit you don't give a shit about, the new layout keeps you up to date with every action your friends take on Facebook, in case you wanted to learn about them in order to kill them and live out their lives.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Specifically, it's the groups friends join. It is not uncommon for a user to be notified that "Bettie Blowjobs joined "I love slurping on the spam along with 23509235 other profiles." Who the fuck actually joins these groups for a purpose? I'll tell you who:</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">An occurring trend (but not the first of its nature) on Facebook is the tendency for users to join "Be the first 50,000 fans of this group and test and KEEP an iPad for FREE!!!!!!!!!!" You see, the internet dumbs down its users to levels that would be dangerous in the real world. Observe the "first 50,000 fans" portion. Even when the groups are </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">over</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> the 50,000 mark, people join these groups in blind stupidity. Why? Fuck me, I don't know. Who exactly is sponsoring this deal? It's definitely not Apple, they're not looking for testers. And even if they were, why would they recruit on Facebook? There are plenty of Mac-Panthers to fill the need. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But there is one giant glaring fact: IT'S 50 FUCKING THOUSAND IPADS. You know these things retail around $500 right? </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Starting</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. Who in the </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">hell</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> has $25 million to blow out their ass? Because I need to sell them my goods.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Also, check out </span></span><a href="http://www.geekologie.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Geekologie</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. They have some great stuff up there. Here are some recent highlights:</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><a href="http://www.geekologie.com/2010/02/lego_nipples_awesome_yes_yes_i.php"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Lego Nipples (NSFW)</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> This is pretty self explanatory.</span></span></div><div><a href="http://www.geekologie.com/image.php?path=/2010/02/25/robots-full.jpg"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Robot Information Graphical</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> A neat graphic with all pertinent robot info.</span></span></div><div><a href="http://www.geekologie.com/image.php?path=/2010/02/24/chest-yams-large.jpg"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Chest Yams</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> Just check it out, you will be better for it.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">-Jim-</span></span></div>Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-41158129200927654922010-02-26T00:40:00.002-06:002010-02-26T00:47:30.274-06:00Oh Hi Bro PatrolLike a phoenix from the ashes Bro Patrol will rise again!<br />
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-Sam-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-52301223206350931912010-02-21T01:03:00.001-06:002010-02-21T01:03:31.142-06:00Hiatus?Possibly<br />
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-Jim-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-2481505767493419102010-02-20T01:38:00.002-06:002010-02-26T00:46:39.617-06:00Sorry to our handful of listenersI've been busy lately with work, school, girlfriend and my novel, so I haven't had the time to post reccently. I've got a comic ready, I just need to reinstall the scanner software.<br />
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-Shaun-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-26436260843713527322010-02-08T22:07:00.002-06:002010-02-08T22:07:50.376-06:00RICKY<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9g92gdz-1g">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9g92gdz-1g</a>Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-87716493804197637272010-02-04T23:56:00.000-06:002010-02-04T23:56:19.001-06:002/04/10<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://gothamist.com/images/2003_10_bubbrubb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" kt="true" src="http://gothamist.com/images/2003_10_bubbrubb.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-1167169972512271972010-02-03T13:48:00.000-06:002010-02-03T13:48:43.631-06:00Dynomite!BroPatrol would like to give the "Baddest Brotha" commendation to Black Dynamite, who is the hardest motherfucker in the game. Anaconda malt liquor gives you "OoOoOoO!!!"<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_EsaxP-yi488/S2nS8WxpxbI/AAAAAAAAABw/QjN35_gAVpo/s1600-h/black_dynamite.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_EsaxP-yi488/S2nS8WxpxbI/AAAAAAAAABw/QjN35_gAVpo/s640/black_dynamite.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
Out Now!<br />
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-Jeremiah-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-12891408786955131872010-02-02T21:31:00.001-06:002010-02-03T13:44:46.438-06:002/02/10 Part 2Since we missed day one of Black History Month we're doubling up today! Today's bonus under looked Black person is rapper Chingy. This performer has created masterpieces in the music industry and has left it forever unchanged with works such as "Right Thurr" and "Holiday Inn." Thank you Chingy for changing the face and voice of music as we know it. <br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.rashaentertainment.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/chingy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" kt="true" src="http://www.rashaentertainment.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/chingy.jpg" width="302" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">"Gimme what you got for a pork chop </div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">She threw it at me like I was a short-stop"</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">-Shaun-</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">-Jim-</div>Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-22484072118471474732010-02-02T21:06:00.001-06:002010-02-03T13:43:41.820-06:002/02/10In honor of Black History Month BroPatrol would like to feature Black people who don't get the attention like the Frederick Douglasses and Oprahs of the world. Today's Feature is President Thomas Wilson, the Black president from the movie 2012. He's noble as fuck. He gave up his seat on the boat for a scientist. Luckly this scientist was a brotha though. <br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">It's like having two Obamas </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>-Shaun-<br />
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Fuckin' fix'd<br />
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-Jim-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-3854765650801471922010-01-31T01:45:00.001-06:002010-01-31T01:45:39.437-06:001/31/10Wishing a Very Happy BroPatrol Birthday to Daniel! A fantastic Addition to the team here! <br />
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-BroPatrol-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-75298748451859753222010-01-27T15:58:00.002-06:002010-02-01T02:01:39.679-06:00BroPatrol's World Famous AdviceWelcome to the very first BP Advice Column! <br />
Here to answer YOUR questions today are Sam and Shaun!<br />
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Dear BroPatrol, <br />
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I've recently discovered feelings for one of my best friends. I really want to pursue a physical/romantic relationship, but don't want to risk the friendship we've already established. What should I do?<br />
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-Friends without benefits-<br />
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Sam - You're traveling a very tricky trail, Friends without benefits. Which is stronger: the friendship or feelings with this person? You've got to do a lot of soul searching, don't jump the gun, or do anything rash. <br />
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Shaun - I'll agree. Try to figure out how this other person feels. You can talk to mutual friends or his or her close friends. You can try testing your limits, be a little more hands on ( I don't mean hand jobs ). Just closer hugs, small physical connections. Try and judge their reactions, the more they do it back the better. If they back off a little, you're probably outta luck, but you just might have saved the friendship. <br />
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Sam - The way I see it is that there is two possible out comes: either the feeling is mutual and a relationship develops out of it or the friendship will end because things will just get awkward and eventually it ends. And no one likes awkward situations, especially this guy! <br />
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Dear BroPatrol<br />
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I recently walked in on my mom having sex! WITH MY TEACHER! What the fuck do I do?<br />
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-Honor Student-<br />
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Shaun - Blackmail. Make sure you milk this fucking cow for everything its got. You can definitely get an A in this class. Also, this is a great card to play at home. Mom's like, “do the dishes.” You're like, “don't fuck my teachers.” It's sure to shut her up.<br />
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Sam - Are they still fucking? Right now? Blackmail sounds alright. Teachers don't have money, but is your mom an accountant? Or married? Might wanna tell pops whats going on behind his back.<br />
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Dear BroPatrol<br />
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I think my girlfriend might be cheating on me. Every time she's out of the house I get these thoughts of her being with someone else. It makes me very angry and I cannot focus on anything else. My mind just flashes images of her with other men until I get a text from her, what should I do guys?<br />
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-Jealous Guy-<br />
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Sam - There's one of two things going on here. Either A) You're nuts, and you need help, or B) You've got a reason to to suspicious. Just think to your self, be sure and don't assume anything. <br />
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Shaun - From what I've gathered, this is completely in your head. You've got to gain some trust for your relationship or it'll never work. <br />
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OH SHIT GUEST ALERT! <br />
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Meghan - She's not suppose to leave the house now? <br />
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Dear BroPatrol<br />
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I began an online relationship a few months ago, and when it came down for time to meet, she ended up being a HE! I'm totally straight, but I'm in love! What should I do BroPatrol?<br />
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-Lost In Love-<br />
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Sam - Hey man, its the 21st century. It's totally okay for men to love men these days. But on the other hand, if they lied about their gender, then what else could they be lying about? <br />
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Shaun - I'm going to be honest, I think there is something fishy about online relationships to begin with. I couldn't tell you how many letters I get like yours; there are just too many creepy fucks out there. <br />
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Meghan - Close your eyes, pretend he's a girl. You're done. <br />
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Sam - Ask him to get a sex change<br />
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Thanks for your questions! Please continue to submit your problems, and we'll do our best to get to each of them. You can email us at <a href="mailto:jimmysamshaun@yahoo.com">jimmysamshaun@yahoo.com</a> or leave an anonymous comment on this post. <br />
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-Sam, Shaun, and Meghan-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-86949119681853857172010-01-27T14:39:00.001-06:002010-02-01T01:55:23.164-06:00Guest Post 1/27/10Some interesting shit has happened this week, and it's only Tuesday.<br />
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Incident 1: I am sitting in my 9AM environmental science lab, grumpy from sleep deprivation. A stupid, annoying bitch sitting next to me is complaining about the "difficulty" and "uselessness" of latitude and longitude. After enduring 10 minutes of her incessant whining, I proceed to help her with her work. "I don't get how the degrees work!" she said. Trying not to get too pissed, I reply with "well latitude's easy. They're lines that go east and west, 0 to 90 degrees from the equator to the north pole, 0 to 90 degrees from the equator to the south pole." After peering at her map for a good 4,000 years (probably only 10 seconds, but fuck it seemed like forever), she replies with "well where's the equator?" At this point, I get out of my seat and sit at a different table.<br />
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Incident 2: my Spanish teacher informs us of an essay that she wants us to write. She states that this is a diagnostic essay to establish our knowledge of Spanish and that we should not ask anyone for help. "In other words, don't ask your friend at the restaurant to edit your paper", she says. Struggling to suppress an imminent giggle, I ask, "don't you mean business office?". My Spanish teacher, to my utter delight and schoolboy amusement, replies with, "What language are we learning here? C'mon, let's be serious." <br />
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-Daniel-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-39212364128940379142010-01-26T18:53:00.001-06:002010-02-01T01:52:14.977-06:00Remington Coxworthy and the Cavewoman of Dinosaur Island****The subject matter may be offensive to pussies******<br />
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Gather 'round once again children of the night. Once again, this evening I shall share with you a famous Sexpedition of a BroPatrol worldwide legend. It's time to dive deep into a chapter of the life of one of Earth's favorite sons. The Final chapter in the Trilogy.....<br />
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Our hero awakens in a thick humid jungle. The sweat dripped off of his rock hard abs. Something else was rock hard as well. He was curious as to why he wasn't wearing clothes yet again but he didn't think about it very long because being in the nude was natural for him. Just then a fucking HUNGRY T-Rex came out of the brush. Remington was taken aback for a moment. He then smiled and leaped onto the back of the T-Rex and cornholed the shit out of him. You can imagine the T-Rex was rather confused as to how a human ass man who resembled every other man he'd ever eaten except he had a tail and it was attached to his front instead of back could over power him. Although the dinosaur was not a fine humanoid female he still got his fuck on. I mean its a dinosaur and its not very sexy but he still got his nut off. T-Rex walked off sore and very confused. he wasn't even hungry anymore. Remington wiped the sweat off his brow and decided to explore the mysterious prehistoric Island world he found himself in.<br />
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Across the island was a village full of amazon cave women. they were all lesbians because there was no men on the island. I mean they weren't against the idea of dick but there was none to be found. They faced the problem of extinction because men were a dime a dozen. Luckily they were about to run into Remington or should I say Remington was about to run into them. He strolled into their village with his chest and posture upright. He was a sight for very sore eyes. Remington while he wanted to make sweet passionate love to each and every woman and girl(why not)on the island he had to eventually....ahhh who was he kidding he was going ot stay there and tap that collective ass. He fucked and hunted prehistoric beast for three years straight. He even found a cave woman named POPO VAGINASTEIN whose vagina was the only cave woman whose vagina was deep enough for his massive man dick. She was the only woman that Remington had ever loved. The Cave Wedding and the floral arrangements were set. Just as Remington was about to say I do the Dinosaur from earlier came back and ate his love POPO. He was still pissed about getting raped earlier in the story. I bet you forgot about him. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” Remington screamed. HIS COCK GOT HARD WITH RAGE. He swung it on top of the T-Rex's head and then pounded his head over and over again till it was nothing but dino soup. His penis cried for POPO and couldn't get hard which made Remington incredibly depressed. Never again would Remington find another like her. He was broken......but ,when all seemed lost,The Chief of the village told Remington about a special baptism to clean Coxworthy of his past and he wold be born anew and a fresh set of adventures ahead of him. "What must I do?" Remington asked. "Oh nothing much.....JUST TAKE A BATH IN A FUCKING LAVA PIT!!!!" Remington dragged his dick to the top of the volcano and looked down and thought of all the women he had seduced over the years. He fell into the pit.<br />
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THE END<br />
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Epilogue....bitch<br />
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Remington blasted out of the volcano surfing the lava with his bare feet. He reached the bottom of the village and with his newly erected cock came all over the villagers.<br />
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-Sam-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-38371946222489997312010-01-25T15:43:00.003-06:002010-01-30T02:01:51.672-06:00Guest Post 1/25/10Wow, here's a story for Bro Patrol. On my way back from Taco Bell from Mike, we're at a stoplight. Next to us is a black chick in a car listening to rap music. It was a Lil Wayne song, and he was singing "I have a condo in Atlanta, and I have always wear a bandana." This stupid fucking song is netting him millions of do...<br />
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-Daniel-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-72390684732124094372010-01-24T23:43:00.003-06:002010-01-27T23:45:15.788-06:00Guest Post 1/24/10In this day and age, couples love to give each other "cute" fucking names, such as "sweetie" or "baby" or god forbid, "honeybun." and I guess that's kind of acceptable. But some time ago, I was at the UNT library (a PUBLIC place, mind you) and happened to overhear this couple sweet talking to each other. It went something like "I gotta go. I'll call you tonight, giggle bear!" as soon as I heard this fucking phrase, my stomach churned and I tasted vomit in my mouth. Giggle bear? Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck life.<br />
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-Daniel-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-41677970077932447912010-01-18T23:48:00.002-06:002010-01-27T23:43:33.677-06:00Still waiting.for Sam to finish the third installment of the Remington Coxworthy Sexploits. <br />
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-Shaun-Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-76721768112324356692010-01-18T03:47:00.000-06:002010-01-18T03:47:04.343-06:00LOOFAH! LOOFAH! LOOFAH!<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-k9K8V2-Itw&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-k9K8V2-Itw&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><br />
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Doin' wonders for her core. When I grow up I want to be toxic Shiny Suds residue!Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-67700340406271913422010-01-18T03:40:00.001-06:002010-01-18T03:40:59.395-06:00Goddamn Motherfucking Sales Genie<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7YOZeK7vzwo&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7YOZeK7vzwo&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3605643627582666220.post-75410865481254462802010-01-18T03:39:00.002-06:002010-01-18T03:39:33.148-06:00An Ordinary Day in 6716<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xBLDcuxYzqw&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xBLDcuxYzqw&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Jimmy Sam Shaunhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09842125512686217624noreply@blogger.com1