Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Remington Coxworthy and the Cavewoman of Dinosaur Island

****The subject matter may be offensive to pussies******


Gather 'round once again children of the night. Once again, this evening I shall share with you a famous Sexpedition of a BroPatrol worldwide legend. It's time to dive deep into a chapter of the life of one of Earth's favorite sons. The Final chapter in the Trilogy.....

Our hero awakens in a thick humid jungle. The sweat dripped off of his rock hard abs. Something else was rock hard as well. He was curious as to why he wasn't wearing clothes yet again but he didn't think about it very long because being in the nude was natural for him. Just then a fucking HUNGRY T-Rex came out of the brush. Remington was taken aback for a moment. He then smiled and leaped onto the back of the T-Rex and cornholed the shit out of him. You can imagine the T-Rex was rather confused as to how a human ass man who resembled every other man he'd ever eaten except he had a tail and it was attached to his front instead of back could over power him. Although the dinosaur was not a fine humanoid female he still got his fuck on. I mean its a dinosaur and its not very sexy but he still got his nut off. T-Rex walked off sore and very confused. he wasn't even hungry anymore. Remington wiped the sweat off his brow and decided to explore the mysterious prehistoric Island world he found himself in.

Across the island was a village full of amazon cave women. they were all lesbians because there was no men on the island. I mean they weren't against the idea of dick but there was none to be found. They faced the problem of extinction because men were a dime a dozen. Luckily they were about to run into Remington or should I say Remington was about to run into them. He strolled into their village with his chest and posture upright. He was a sight for very sore eyes. Remington while he wanted to make sweet passionate love to each and every woman and girl(why not)on the island he had to eventually....ahhh who was he kidding he was going ot stay there and tap that collective ass. He fucked and hunted prehistoric beast for three years straight. He even found a cave woman named POPO VAGINASTEIN whose vagina was the only cave woman whose vagina was deep enough for his massive man dick. She was the only woman that Remington had ever loved. The Cave Wedding and the floral arrangements were set. Just as Remington was about to say I do the Dinosaur from earlier came back and ate his love POPO. He was still pissed about getting raped earlier in the story. I bet you forgot about him. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” Remington screamed. HIS COCK GOT HARD WITH RAGE. He swung it on top of the T-Rex's head and then pounded his head over and over again till it was nothing but dino soup. His penis cried for POPO and couldn't get hard which made Remington incredibly depressed. Never again would Remington find another like her. He was broken......but ,when all seemed lost,The Chief of the village told Remington about a special baptism to clean Coxworthy of his past and he wold be born anew and a fresh set of adventures ahead of him. "What must I do?" Remington asked. "Oh nothing much.....JUST TAKE A BATH IN A FUCKING LAVA PIT!!!!" Remington dragged his dick to the top of the volcano and looked down and thought of all the women he had seduced over the years. He fell into the pit.



THE END


























Epilogue....bitch

Remington blasted out of the volcano surfing the lava with his bare feet. He reached the bottom of the village and with his newly erected cock came all over the villagers.


-Sam-

5 comments:

  1. my stomach hurts so fucking much from laughing.
    -daniel

    ReplyDelete
  2. please exuse spelling errors because of 3 reasons.

    1. Shaun's keyboard sucks.
    2. I have terrible grammar
    3. I don't give a shit

    -sam-

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dude you spelling fucking sucks

    ReplyDelete
  4. This was the stupidest shit I've ever read. Only a dumbass like you would fap to this. Get a life.

    And to the guy who posted the first comment, it's "your" not "you." Your spelling fucking sucks as well.

    ReplyDelete
  5. hey fuck off! -daniel

    ReplyDelete