Guidos

My friend Laura recently referred a show on MTV to me called The Jersey Shore. Originally upon viewing I thought it was a documentary about a bunch of mentally handicapped youth trying to find a place in society. Imagine my surprise when I found out the show is about guidos. As an Italian American this subject matter is very personal to me. Guidos. A guido as defined by urban dictionary as  "an Italian American man usually residing in New York or New Jersey. He wears shirts that are too tight and unbuttoned 5 buttons too low to show off the chest that he spent hours and hours at the gym obtaining, he spends more time on his hair than his girlfriend, and continues to "hit the clubs" long into his mid to late 30's. Often attracted to the female version of himself, the guidette."(www.urbandictionary.com). basically they are douche bags. Look if it had just stayed at that then I wouldn't really have a personal beef with them, but when they start waving the "Italian Pride" flag then its personal. AS A SPOKESPERSON FOR ITALIAN AMERICANS, WE DO NOT CLAM THEM. I am going attempt to communicate to the guidos one on one so feel free to stop reading here:

Look Guido nation, as Italian Americans we have worked really hard and constantly struggled to shed negative stereotypes over the years such as,the Godfather plague, that Mario the plumber ordeal of 84' , and we have just finished with the Sopranos outbreak of the late 20th century. Now when we are finally breaking out and earning our independence your orange AXE body sprayed chains have been shackled upon us. Please for the love of our catholic god stop before our image in society is completely shattered. Now I am a reasonable man and willing to make deals. Free hair gel and ed hardy shirts to every Guido or Guidette who denounces being Italian. I am willing to find a subtle race of your choosing as a replacement (Personally Oompa Loompa seems to be a safe bet.).

-Sam-