So Monday I got my wisdom teeth taken out and now I am on drugs and my cheeks are swollen and my mouth feels like I just gave Ron Jeremy a blow job. Anyways I woke up early Tuesday and it was so painful so I went and checked out the pills the doc gave me. I had 4 different pill options:
1.Moderate pain killer
2.Antibiotic
3.Extreme pain killer (only have 5 of these)
4.Muscle relaxant (for the jaw)
I have to take 1 and 2 every four hours. I have to take half of 4 in the evening time and a whole one before I go to bed. And then that leaves us with 3 and sweet Jesus is 3 good.
So thats kinda why I have been lying low for a little bit. I'm throwing my Remington Coxworthy story into the ring soon. I figure shit since jimmy and shaun did one guess I have to now...
anyway later fellow brosss.
-Sam-
p.s. sorry for grammar errors
It's okay, it's why I'm here. You guys never notice your posts change a little?
-Jim-
I thought that there was a grammar* (-Jim) fairy that came in and fixed our shit.
-Shaun-
Friday, January 15, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Sam Goes to the Dentist
Hey Ho There Bros and Broettes
Shaun here checkin' in. Just got back from taking fellow BroPatrol founder, Sam, to the dentist.
My day has totally been like the David goes to the Dentist video. Not much else on my mind to discuss. I'll try to check back very soon with something more entertaining.
-Shaun-
Shaun here checkin' in. Just got back from taking fellow BroPatrol founder, Sam, to the dentist.
My day has totally been like the David goes to the Dentist video. Not much else on my mind to discuss. I'll try to check back very soon with something more entertaining.
-Shaun-
Saturday, January 9, 2010
FREEWRITE 1/09/10
Quite frankly I have nothing to write about. Just read Jimmy's Remington Coxworthy story. Loved it. Expect to see a lot of him in the future, so I hope you enjoy his Sexploits.
I heard that my list of fake fanpages was well recieved
so I'll add more to it.
Watching a movie you own on DVD, on TV
The prize at the bottom of my Apple Jacks
Making a wish at 11:11
Free samples of food I was going to buy anyways.
Seeing people I hate ending their relationships
Hating Assholes
When the vending machine gives you double
Not losing the Claw game
Playing games you played as a child, now
Humming Lyrics you don't know
Being hungry an hour after you eat Chinese food
People being not rude.
Hating rude people.
Top 40 radion stations suck.
Non-lace shoes
Warm Showers
Hating people born after 1994
Hating people born before 1986
Peeing in someone else's bathroom
Pooping in my own bathroom
Others admiting their mistakes
The Shade
Going swimmng
Ice cream on really cold days
Creepin on facebook
Eh, that mildly got my writing gears going actually. If it wasn't late I'd totally being on a new Remington Coxworthy story.
expect a real post shortly
-Shaun-
I heard that my list of fake fanpages was well recieved
so I'll add more to it.
Watching a movie you own on DVD, on TV
The prize at the bottom of my Apple Jacks
Making a wish at 11:11
Free samples of food I was going to buy anyways.
Seeing people I hate ending their relationships
Hating Assholes
When the vending machine gives you double
Not losing the Claw game
Playing games you played as a child, now
Humming Lyrics you don't know
Being hungry an hour after you eat Chinese food
People being not rude.
Hating rude people.
Top 40 radion stations suck.
Non-lace shoes
Warm Showers
Hating people born after 1994
Hating people born before 1986
Peeing in someone else's bathroom
Pooping in my own bathroom
Others admiting their mistakes
The Shade
Going swimmng
Ice cream on really cold days
Creepin on facebook
Eh, that mildly got my writing gears going actually. If it wasn't late I'd totally being on a new Remington Coxworthy story.
expect a real post shortly
-Shaun-
Remington Coxworthy...goes to space?
Gather 'round once again children of the night. Once again, this evening I shall share with you a famous Sexpedition of a BroPatrol worldwide legend. It's time to dive deep into a chapter of the life of one of Earth's favorite sons.
The electric hum of the space cabin rouses our hero from a deep sleep. Coxworthy sits up, only to come face to face with his rigid rocket, ready for blast off. Suddenly the cabin door opens, and a voluptuous woman slips in. Her hair fell around her shoulders like silk, black as the unforgiving vacuum of space. Her eyes were a piercing blue, and seemed to gaze into our hero's soul.
"I see that you're finally awake, Remington. My name is Veronica, and as ship physician, I'm here to give you a...check-up."
With a flick of her wrist, the doctor's suit flutters to the ground, revealing quite the spectacle. In one swift motion the doctor takes hold of Coxworthy's grand champion, and begins to stroke it slowly, gradually quickening in pace. This pleased Coxworthy, but Coxworthy required more. Taking hold of the doctor, Remington lifts her off of the ground and onto his (I'm not gonna sugarcoat it) massive cock. Hours of the sweatiest, nastiest, roughest fucking ensue. The doctor rides Coxworthy, but this is one stallion that simply cannot be tamed. Eventually the doctor passes our from pure exhaustion, leaving Coxworthy to silently slip out of the cabin. Why doesn't he put clothes on? Because when you're ripped as hell and fuck everything, there is no time for clothes. Especially when you're Remington Coxworthy.
Blast off!
-Jim-
The electric hum of the space cabin rouses our hero from a deep sleep. Coxworthy sits up, only to come face to face with his rigid rocket, ready for blast off. Suddenly the cabin door opens, and a voluptuous woman slips in. Her hair fell around her shoulders like silk, black as the unforgiving vacuum of space. Her eyes were a piercing blue, and seemed to gaze into our hero's soul.
"I see that you're finally awake, Remington. My name is Veronica, and as ship physician, I'm here to give you a...check-up."
With a flick of her wrist, the doctor's suit flutters to the ground, revealing quite the spectacle. In one swift motion the doctor takes hold of Coxworthy's grand champion, and begins to stroke it slowly, gradually quickening in pace. This pleased Coxworthy, but Coxworthy required more. Taking hold of the doctor, Remington lifts her off of the ground and onto his (I'm not gonna sugarcoat it) massive cock. Hours of the sweatiest, nastiest, roughest fucking ensue. The doctor rides Coxworthy, but this is one stallion that simply cannot be tamed. Eventually the doctor passes our from pure exhaustion, leaving Coxworthy to silently slip out of the cabin. Why doesn't he put clothes on? Because when you're ripped as hell and fuck everything, there is no time for clothes. Especially when you're Remington Coxworthy.
Blast off!
-Jim-
Friday, January 8, 2010
Remington Coxworthy and the Three Sisters of Moonlight
WARNING: This post is much filthier than our normal filthiness
Gather 'round children of the night, both young and old. For this evening I shall share with you a famous Sexpedtion of a BroPatrol worldwide legend. Its time to dive deep into a chapter of the life of one of Earth's favorite sons.
Our hero awakes to the sound of silence, opens his eyes and peers around to see nothing but the deep, dark forest. Our hero notices he has been stripped naked, but is unbothered by this. With no leads to go by he begins to run through the trees, golden hair flowing in the wind like the flag of a proud nation, breathing powerfully like as if a proud lion, sweat forming a layer that reflects the spot lights of sun that penetrates the lush forest ceiling, and his manhood flipping and flopping without control with each impact his strong feet makes with the moist soil. Remington was a proud Stallion galloping through the woods he felt as if he owned.
After an absurd amount of time running, Remington reaches a clearing. In this clearing there was a small lake that fed into a small creek, and a small cottage at the opposite end than the one our hero stood at. Remington had become pretty fucking hungry, understandably since he ran about 15 hours that day. Remington approached the home, which looked untended for, but smoke poured out of the chimney. Our hero took a deep breath and knocked on the front door, and he knocked with purpose. A brief moment passed by before the door opened, all of Earth stood still when from within the shadows of the dwelling stepped a young woman, a beautiful woman. She was tall and curvy (Remington's type of girl). She had dark brown hair, and eyes of the bluest skies, she wore an old dress that was not buttoned all of the way. The dress was obviously too small, but when you live in a cottage in the middle of the forest, clothes become hard to come by.
Remington looks her up and down and smiles.
"May this traveler enter?" says Remington, beaming with confidence.
The young woman looks Remington up, then down. She cannot help but stare as his exposed masculinity, but blame her not, for it is an impressive sight. Remington makes no move to cover himself, nor interrupt the woman from soaking in the sight of Remington's massive champion. After a moment, she composes herself and motions for him to enter the house, words would have been impossible for to muster. She leads him hand in hand to the kitchen.
"Set four places tonight, sister", the woman manages to squeeze out. A slightly older, but equally beautiful woman looks up, and drops her stirring spoon and jaw. This woman is a little shorter, but also a little curvier, and had a dark red, ember colored hair.
"Finish dinner, I'm going to clean our guest up." The woman, reaches for our hero's hand, grazing his cock along the way, and guides him out back to a small metal tub. "Go head in, mister, I'll fetch some water to wash you up with." She returns shortly with a bucket of water and a cloth. She pours the cool water over our hero's body, then she dips the cloth in, to get it wet. She begins to wipe him off. His body, once drenched with sweat, was slowly being cleared away, by the beautiful woman. She begin with his broad shoulders and chest, she worked around his thick arms, and down his strong legs. She gently scrubbed circles down his stomach, and inched closer and closer down towards his ever thickening penis.
She saw that his erection was growing bigger and beefier, her breath began to grow as well, Remington knew what was coming, but the woman had to make the final move. She released the cloth, and without haste gained a firm grasp on Remington's powerful shaft. The difficult part was over, but the hard part was just beginning. She begins to stroke Remington's worthy cock, quickening in pace, and holding tighter with each stroke. He turns his head around and kisses the woman on the neck, sucking on her as if he was a vampire preying on beautiful women.
The woman lets go of her current job, Remington turns around to witness the woman's dress falling to the ground. Remington steps out of his tub and pulls the woman close. Needless to say, Remington gives her the fucking of a lifetime. The two head back towards the house, with a sense of satisfaction known only by those lucky enough to share a love making of that caliber. By the time of their arrival, dinner was ready. The table was fairly awkward, given the jealously between the two sisters, the younger one was pretty pissed off, because she really wanted to get fucked by Remington, not only did she see him first, but she saw his magnificent package first as well.
Remington's nudity did not help with the awkwardness either, all sisters, including a third middle sister, who again was equally beautiful to the other two sisters, but with blonde hair. Well all three sisters could not keep their eyes off of our hero's legendary dong, except for the youngest sister to glare at the oldest one. That night while everyone was asleep, the young sister wakes up our hero. She was kneeling beside our hero, butt ass naked, already stroking his pleasure rod. He looks up to her and smiles, she smiles back and brings her willing mouth down towards Remington Jr. she places what she can of his lumber in her mouth, her tongue acts as if a spoon in a pot, mixing around the soup which is his sizable cock. Once again, needless to say, our hero gives another young lady the fucking of a life time.
The next morning, during breakfast Remington offers to stick around for a few days and help the girls fix up their abode as a thanks for their hospitality, the girls obviously take him up on this offer. A couple of days turns into a couple of weeks, Remington is quite busy, fixing holes, filling holes, plowing fields, plowing pussy. Our hero's work is never done. One night Remington wakes up to a strange noise, and much to his surprise, there wasn't a beautiful woman preforming oral sex on him! Immediately concerned he rushed into the other room, where he witnessed the middle sister transform into a fucking werewolf! She then gobbled up the other two sisters right then and there! "Fuck!" exclaimed Remington. "Looks like this pussy well's gone dry..." Remington pulls a cigarette out of a vase and lights it with a lighter from the same vase. Remington took a good strong puff, then exhales. Remington knew what the hell he had to do. The werewolf leaped at our hero, but Remington is to swift for that shit, he ducks, turns around and grabs the beast's hind legs and fucks the werewolf.......
.... he fucks it doggy-style
-Shaun-
p.s. I'd really love feed back on how you guys felt about this new character! Also, I personally am excited to see what Jimmy does with the series(assuming he is), being that this character was created by the two of us.
also, sorry the ending felt rushed, I might come back and adjust it just a tiny bit.
Gather 'round children of the night, both young and old. For this evening I shall share with you a famous Sexpedtion of a BroPatrol worldwide legend. Its time to dive deep into a chapter of the life of one of Earth's favorite sons.
Remington Coxworthy and the Three Sisters of Moonlight
Our hero awakes to the sound of silence, opens his eyes and peers around to see nothing but the deep, dark forest. Our hero notices he has been stripped naked, but is unbothered by this. With no leads to go by he begins to run through the trees, golden hair flowing in the wind like the flag of a proud nation, breathing powerfully like as if a proud lion, sweat forming a layer that reflects the spot lights of sun that penetrates the lush forest ceiling, and his manhood flipping and flopping without control with each impact his strong feet makes with the moist soil. Remington was a proud Stallion galloping through the woods he felt as if he owned.
After an absurd amount of time running, Remington reaches a clearing. In this clearing there was a small lake that fed into a small creek, and a small cottage at the opposite end than the one our hero stood at. Remington had become pretty fucking hungry, understandably since he ran about 15 hours that day. Remington approached the home, which looked untended for, but smoke poured out of the chimney. Our hero took a deep breath and knocked on the front door, and he knocked with purpose. A brief moment passed by before the door opened, all of Earth stood still when from within the shadows of the dwelling stepped a young woman, a beautiful woman. She was tall and curvy (Remington's type of girl). She had dark brown hair, and eyes of the bluest skies, she wore an old dress that was not buttoned all of the way. The dress was obviously too small, but when you live in a cottage in the middle of the forest, clothes become hard to come by.
Remington looks her up and down and smiles.
"May this traveler enter?" says Remington, beaming with confidence.
The young woman looks Remington up, then down. She cannot help but stare as his exposed masculinity, but blame her not, for it is an impressive sight. Remington makes no move to cover himself, nor interrupt the woman from soaking in the sight of Remington's massive champion. After a moment, she composes herself and motions for him to enter the house, words would have been impossible for to muster. She leads him hand in hand to the kitchen.
"Set four places tonight, sister", the woman manages to squeeze out. A slightly older, but equally beautiful woman looks up, and drops her stirring spoon and jaw. This woman is a little shorter, but also a little curvier, and had a dark red, ember colored hair.
"Finish dinner, I'm going to clean our guest up." The woman, reaches for our hero's hand, grazing his cock along the way, and guides him out back to a small metal tub. "Go head in, mister, I'll fetch some water to wash you up with." She returns shortly with a bucket of water and a cloth. She pours the cool water over our hero's body, then she dips the cloth in, to get it wet. She begins to wipe him off. His body, once drenched with sweat, was slowly being cleared away, by the beautiful woman. She begin with his broad shoulders and chest, she worked around his thick arms, and down his strong legs. She gently scrubbed circles down his stomach, and inched closer and closer down towards his ever thickening penis.
She saw that his erection was growing bigger and beefier, her breath began to grow as well, Remington knew what was coming, but the woman had to make the final move. She released the cloth, and without haste gained a firm grasp on Remington's powerful shaft. The difficult part was over, but the hard part was just beginning. She begins to stroke Remington's worthy cock, quickening in pace, and holding tighter with each stroke. He turns his head around and kisses the woman on the neck, sucking on her as if he was a vampire preying on beautiful women.
The woman lets go of her current job, Remington turns around to witness the woman's dress falling to the ground. Remington steps out of his tub and pulls the woman close. Needless to say, Remington gives her the fucking of a lifetime. The two head back towards the house, with a sense of satisfaction known only by those lucky enough to share a love making of that caliber. By the time of their arrival, dinner was ready. The table was fairly awkward, given the jealously between the two sisters, the younger one was pretty pissed off, because she really wanted to get fucked by Remington, not only did she see him first, but she saw his magnificent package first as well.
Remington's nudity did not help with the awkwardness either, all sisters, including a third middle sister, who again was equally beautiful to the other two sisters, but with blonde hair. Well all three sisters could not keep their eyes off of our hero's legendary dong, except for the youngest sister to glare at the oldest one. That night while everyone was asleep, the young sister wakes up our hero. She was kneeling beside our hero, butt ass naked, already stroking his pleasure rod. He looks up to her and smiles, she smiles back and brings her willing mouth down towards Remington Jr. she places what she can of his lumber in her mouth, her tongue acts as if a spoon in a pot, mixing around the soup which is his sizable cock. Once again, needless to say, our hero gives another young lady the fucking of a life time.
The next morning, during breakfast Remington offers to stick around for a few days and help the girls fix up their abode as a thanks for their hospitality, the girls obviously take him up on this offer. A couple of days turns into a couple of weeks, Remington is quite busy, fixing holes, filling holes, plowing fields, plowing pussy. Our hero's work is never done. One night Remington wakes up to a strange noise, and much to his surprise, there wasn't a beautiful woman preforming oral sex on him! Immediately concerned he rushed into the other room, where he witnessed the middle sister transform into a fucking werewolf! She then gobbled up the other two sisters right then and there! "Fuck!" exclaimed Remington. "Looks like this pussy well's gone dry..." Remington pulls a cigarette out of a vase and lights it with a lighter from the same vase. Remington took a good strong puff, then exhales. Remington knew what the hell he had to do. The werewolf leaped at our hero, but Remington is to swift for that shit, he ducks, turns around and grabs the beast's hind legs and fucks the werewolf.......
.... he fucks it doggy-style
-Shaun-
p.s. I'd really love feed back on how you guys felt about this new character! Also, I personally am excited to see what Jimmy does with the series(assuming he is), being that this character was created by the two of us.
also, sorry the ending felt rushed, I might come back and adjust it just a tiny bit.
FREE WRITE 1/08/10
Hello world, how's the first week of this new year been?
Lovely.
The first subject I want to tackle is one that I am sure will hit close to home for most of you. Facebook Fan pages(One of which was just created for this very site!). In the beginning all was well. Having fan pages for movies, bands, books, and other various shit that has earned a fan base is all good in my book. I completely support that, I am fans of a few TV shows or something, I think. But reccently I've noticed my friends becoming fans of much more mundane things. Things like, Finding Coins in the Coin Return at the Coke Machine, Avoiding Stepping on Cracks so I don't Break my Mother's Back, The Smell of Candles that Smell like Foods from Forgien Peoples Houses, Music from like Two Years before I was Born, Days Where it Doesn't Rain, Days Where is Does Rain, Making an A on a Test I didn't Study for, Green Lights, Movies with Seth Rogen, Family Guy Reruns, When You get Fresh Frys from Burger King, Friendship, Cell phones, Going into a Public Restroom with Hilarious Grafiti, The Ants that aren't Fire Ants, When none of the Pringles Chips are Broken, Sneezing and someone saying "Bless You". It seems like every little tiny positive detail in someones life has the makings of being worth an entire page of dedication. Call me old fashion, but this just seems ridiculous to me. There doesn't need to be recgonition for "Warm Blankets".
When Blankets were invented I promise you the man/woman (s) ' intention was to make them warm. Its expected. Its like saying, DUDE! did you see that fuckin' Plane? its FLYING!!! Not that man has created a flying device, which is impressive. Its just not worth flipping shit over any more. Planes were ment to fly, just as blankets ment to be warm. I guess What I'm Trying to get around to is that I don't think such mediocrity diserves Fan Pages. Nothing I'm upset about. Just thought I'd throw out my two cents. Plus this Blog seriously needs some words up here.....
BroPatrol Would love to hear your input! Comment below or find some other way to let us know!
-Shaun-
Lovely.
The first subject I want to tackle is one that I am sure will hit close to home for most of you. Facebook Fan pages(One of which was just created for this very site!). In the beginning all was well. Having fan pages for movies, bands, books, and other various shit that has earned a fan base is all good in my book. I completely support that, I am fans of a few TV shows or something, I think. But reccently I've noticed my friends becoming fans of much more mundane things. Things like, Finding Coins in the Coin Return at the Coke Machine, Avoiding Stepping on Cracks so I don't Break my Mother's Back, The Smell of Candles that Smell like Foods from Forgien Peoples Houses, Music from like Two Years before I was Born, Days Where it Doesn't Rain, Days Where is Does Rain, Making an A on a Test I didn't Study for, Green Lights, Movies with Seth Rogen, Family Guy Reruns, When You get Fresh Frys from Burger King, Friendship, Cell phones, Going into a Public Restroom with Hilarious Grafiti, The Ants that aren't Fire Ants, When none of the Pringles Chips are Broken, Sneezing and someone saying "Bless You". It seems like every little tiny positive detail in someones life has the makings of being worth an entire page of dedication. Call me old fashion, but this just seems ridiculous to me. There doesn't need to be recgonition for "Warm Blankets".
When Blankets were invented I promise you the man/woman (s) ' intention was to make them warm. Its expected. Its like saying, DUDE! did you see that fuckin' Plane? its FLYING!!! Not that man has created a flying device, which is impressive. Its just not worth flipping shit over any more. Planes were ment to fly, just as blankets ment to be warm. I guess What I'm Trying to get around to is that I don't think such mediocrity diserves Fan Pages. Nothing I'm upset about. Just thought I'd throw out my two cents. Plus this Blog seriously needs some words up here.....
BroPatrol Would love to hear your input! Comment below or find some other way to let us know!
-Shaun-
Monday, January 4, 2010
2010!
Hello Bros and Broettes,
Shaun here to welcome you all into the new year with a Guest Post.....
So up until recently I decided to use the public restroom, I was pretty much having a good day. I had aced a test that I had not studied for, and I had completed my essay that wasn't due for another week. So around 4 pm, I couldn't hold my piss anymore. I go to the nearest restroom and proceed to a urinal. Right as I whip my huge hunk a' junk out, I see a pile of shit. SHIT. In the fucking urinal. my dick was literally less than 3 inches from touching a pile of FUCKING DOO DOO. Needless to say, this kind of ruined my day. In the immortal words of Justin Bowling, I was "infurious." From now on, I carefully scrutinize every inch of a urinal before whipping out my package to urinate. A lesson well learned.
-Daniel-
Shaun here to welcome you all into the new year with a Guest Post.....
So up until recently I decided to use the public restroom, I was pretty much having a good day. I had aced a test that I had not studied for, and I had completed my essay that wasn't due for another week. So around 4 pm, I couldn't hold my piss anymore. I go to the nearest restroom and proceed to a urinal. Right as I whip my huge hunk a' junk out, I see a pile of shit. SHIT. In the fucking urinal. my dick was literally less than 3 inches from touching a pile of FUCKING DOO DOO. Needless to say, this kind of ruined my day. In the immortal words of Justin Bowling, I was "infurious." From now on, I carefully scrutinize every inch of a urinal before whipping out my package to urinate. A lesson well learned.
-Daniel-
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